


Clowns

by rosworms



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Clowns, Fallen Castiel, M/M, Protective Cas, scared sammy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 12:44:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1510937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosworms/pseuds/rosworms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel had no reason to think that Sam would hate the circus and Sam didn’t want to ruin his plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clowns

Sam didn’t have the heart to refuse Castiel’s surprise date idea. The fallen angel had already purchased tickets and had a dinner reservation for beforehand. Castiel had no reason to think that Sam would hate the circus and Sam didn’t want to ruin his plans.

"Sam, are you ill? You haven’t eaten much of your dinner." Castiel’s concern showed in his eyes and Sam smiled.

"I’m fine, Cas. I guess my eyes are bigger than my stomach tonight." In reality, he was just too nervous. He was certain the butterflies in his stomach would cause him to vomit if he ate another bite.

"I think I understand your meaning, though it is a strange way to say that you thought you were hungrier than you actually were. I am glad that you are well, Sam. I want you to have a joyful night."

Sam almost laughed, suspecting it would be anything but joyful and that he would put on a brave face and pretend for Castiel’s sake.

The restaurant was close enough to the fairgrounds, where the circus was set up, that the pair were able to walk from there. Castiel didn’t seem to think it was too odd when Sam would switch sides with him when they would pass by an advertisement or poster for the circus. He laughed once, thinking Sam was just being a bit of a goof.

When they arrived and got to their seats, Castiel was happily munching on a giant pink fluff of cotton candy and noticed Sam was sweating slightly.

"Are you sure you aren’t ill, Sam? I don’t want to keep you out if you are feeling under the weather." Castiel put a hand to Sam’s face, but Sam didn’t feel abnormally warm at all.

"What? No. I’m good, Cas. I’m fine." Sam’s knee bounced rapidly and his the skin around his eyes crinkled with his forced smile. Castiel nodded slowly, not really believing him, and returned to his cotton candy.

The lights dimmed and Sam grabbed Castiel’s hand. If he noticed that Sam’s grip was clammy and a little tighter than usual, he didn’t say anything about it.

The show started dramatically with a flying trapeze act that actually impressed both of them. The death defying swings, leaps, and catches captivated Sam and he almost forgot to be nervous. And after the parade of elephants, his guard was completely down. He even laughed when Castiel pointed out that, despite popular opinion, elephants don’t like peanuts.

It was the act that came after the elephants that stopped Sam cold. Castiel didn’t notice at first until he laughed at a particular part and turned to see Sam sitting still with his eyes tightly shut and his breathing much more rapid than it should be.

The clowns in the spotlight were forgotten instantly as Cas grabbed Sam’s face in his warm hands. 

"Sam? Sam, what’s wrong? Please look at me."

Sam opened his eyes. Eyes that Cas could see were filled with fear. They looked straight into Castiel’s own blue eyes and then slowly started to slide towards the stage. Sam’s breathing was so fast and labored that Castiel feared he may pass out if he didn’t get it under control.

"Sam!" He called attention back to himself. "Come, we are leaving." Castiel didn’t wait for an answer. He grabbed both of Sam’s hands and gently pulled him from his chair and ushered him out of the big tent.

Out in the night air, Castiel guided Sam to sit at a bench. He put Sam’s hand on his own chest.

"Sam, you have to slow your breathing. Concentrate on me… copy me." Castiel ran his free hand through Sam’s hair, an action that often proved to soothe Sam when he was stressed. 

It took a few moments for Sam’s wild eyes to focus and he gulped desperately while trying to match Castiel’s slower breathing pattern. When he got himself under control, Sam against the back of the bench with an exhausted sigh.

"Sam… what happened?" 

"Nothing, Cas. It’s not a big deal."

"Sam Winchester, you just had a panic attack. It’s a big deal if I say it is. What happened?" Castiel’s voice was stern as he demanded an answer. The way Sam looked at him then reminded him of the night he tried to rebuild Sam’s mental wall at the hospital. Eyes full of exhaustion, shame, fear, resignation.

"Clowns."

"Clowns? What about them?"

"Oh god…." Sam groaned, closing his eyes and covering his face with his hands. "I’m afraid of clowns." 

"Oh…." And then Castiel realized what had just happened and his eyes widened. "Oh! Why didn’t you say something before we came?"

"Really, Cas? I wasn’t going to ruined your carefully planned date night for something as stupid as that." 

"As long as I’m with you, the night is not ruined. I just want to spend time with you. I am indifferent to where we spend that time. I just want you to be happy."

"Okay… then can we go home?" Sam’s voice was small and Castiel nodded, waiting until he was sure that Sam would be steady on his feet before taking his hand and leading him away from the circus tent.

~

"Oh, that’s great. This is golden." Dean laughed later after it was explained why Sam and Castiel were home so early. 

"Shut up, Dean." and "It’s not funny, Dean." were both uttered simultaneously and Dean laughed harder.

"I can’t believe you took him to see clowns for a date. I bet Sam was just clinging to you like a monkey. Oh, I wish I had been there to see it."


End file.
